Death of Me couldn't even be saved by a discount Hemsworth brother

 

Maggie Q is slowly becoming the poster Asian girl for B-grade horror. (Image courtesy of imdb.com)

It's always interesting to see Western horror movies that focus on South East Asian myths and traditions. However, we weren't too excited for Death of Me. Even the trailer was a little lackluster. But as connoisseurs of horror, we willed ourselves to sit down and watch.

Death of Me is directed by Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw 2, Saw 3, Saw 4) and stars Maggie Q (Divergent, Mission Impossible 3, Fantasy Island) and a discount Hemsworth brother, Luke Hemsworth (Neighbours, Westworld). 

It follows the story of a married couple, Christine and Neil played by Q and Hemsworth respectively as they holiday in a small village somewhere in Thailand. Neil's a travel journalist documenting his trip in Thailand and they awake one morning covered in dirt with no recollection of the night before. With only a video recording of him murdering his wife and burying her (despite Christine being alive), both Neil and Christine must figure out what happened the night before and why strange things are happening to her. 

 "Forget about what we did last night, we can't even remember why this marriage lasted as long as it did." (Image courtesy of imdb.com)

We utterly and honestly believe that director Bousman went on a trip to Thailand one time and hated it, then pitched a script to the studios which was secretly a smear campaign for the country. 

Early on in the movie, it showed how terrible and inconvenient the system of travel is in rural Thailand. Eventually, that segued into the bigger plot of the movie, but it also highlights how dangerous it is for Americans to travel to countries in Southeast Asia. 

Ultimately, there are three main plots to the movie; the video they found the next morning of Neil murdering Christina, the drink that was offered to the couple at the bar the night before and the mysterious amulet that Christine found herself wearing the morning after. 

As soon as those three items are introduced, the movie keeps everything very cryptic and keeps you guessing too much to the point you lose interest. 

It does try to reel you back in with a shocking scene or two, but honestly, it was too little, too late. At this point, you're just on your phone checking the weather as reports of overcast at high noon were more engaging and interesting than this movie. 

It's like someone watched Art of the Devil one day and decided to make a Western adaptation. (Image courtesy of downrightcreepy.com)

Overall, the movie's pretty hard to follow. It takes you all over the place but the camera angles are kept tight on faces and doesn't give you space to breathe. 

Also, we hope the script is ad-libbed because the script writers are horrible. There are a bunch of characters intertwined throughout the movie but we feel that they're mostly unnecessary.

🐳 AHOY! Me hearties! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

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If you've managed to make it through the majority of the movie, you'll realise that the plot is pretty simple. 

The villagers fed Hemsworth and Q two different tonics; an aphrodisiac to Neil and corpse oil to Christina. 

Hemsworth inseminated Q that night and murdered her, sending her off to Asia Limbo, a place between life and death, with the help of the corpse oil.

In the land of the dead, the spirits would prepare Q's body for the ritual while in the land of the living, Q would become pregnant. 

Once the ritual is complete, Q in her pregnant state, would be ritualistically murdered by the villagers and buried under the pillar in the town's old village as a sacrifice to the gods, all to protect the village from the coming typhoon. 

(Image courtesy of Movie Nation)

All in all, this movie was shoddy at best. With bad camera angles, terrible story telling and a horrible script, we give Death of Me 👻👻 ghost emojis out five.