Vampires vs the Bronx (2020)

 

(Photo courtesy of heavenofhorror.com)

Netflix has greenlit some really good horror movies in the past, I just wished that this was one of them.

Vampires vs the Bronx is one of those movies that was made for the sake of making a movie. It was uninteresting, uninspiring and honestly just plain boring. 

Vampires vs the Bronx is directed by Oz Rodriguez and stars a smattering of actors of color who just fall short in every way you look. In fact, the only white people in this movie were the villains and it wasn't even a subtle hint that white people are the bane of urban development and a hindrance to a specific neighborhood's way of life.

The movie focuses on a group of kids stumbling upon a vampire one night and discover a larger plot to overtake the Bronx. These kids then take it upon themselves to fight them. There was zero time taken in their decision making thought process and their reasoning was, "the adults won't believe us," despite the continuous disappearance of shop owners in the area which they attributed to," oh, they got bought out and moved away overnight." That's a little too convenient for my taste. 

The entire movie was a rip off of Fright Night and the vampire design and lore were just straight up torn out of an Anne Rice novel and Joss Whedon's scripts. 

Our exact reactions when watching this movie. Also, this movie probably gave us cancer. (Photo courtesy of Entertainment Weekly)

I think this is our shortest review to date. There's nothing of note to talk about for this movie. The script was a let down and the plot was trash. The only thing that was redeemable for this movie was the production value, which I believe they could've gotten so much more for less. 

Also Zoe Saldana was in this movie for a good five minutes? 

Asian Does Horror gives this movie one ghost emoji out of five. 👻 Suck on that. 


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